September 15, 1943 (Wednesday)

Alameda NAS

Was sitting in the sun on the BOQ veranda this a.m. when someone called me to the phone. It was Estelle in tears. It took me a minute or so to realize she was telling me that John died in North Africa! Lynne had a telegram from the War Dept. saying only that he had died on Aug. 31st. What do they mean by “died?” Seemed as though the floor dropped out from under me. Nothing I could write could ever describe the terrible sense of loss I feel. He was absolutely the one person in the world whom I truly loved. God will make a billion man before he gets around to John’s pattern again. Poor kid had everything in the world to live for. Wish it had had been me instead. 

To take my mind off this absolutely unbelievable catastrophe I went shopping with Beeza for some dresses for Patu. Sent her three from Lanzes’ for $25 each. Dinner with Beeza, Mac, and party at Amelio’s.